Dear Sarah...

(Sarah graduated from Redlands High School, June 11. At church last Sunday, we honored the graduates in our congregation with the parents reading letters to their graduate. This is mine to Sarah).

Wow, how you have grown since I first met you a little over 4 years ago. How can the beautiful young lady sitting here today, be the same gangly little 13-year-old tomboy I met back then? Sometime when your Dad and I weren’t looking, you grew up!

When I first thought about writing this letter to you, I wondered what I could say. After all I have only been part of your life for four years. I wasn’t there when you took your first steps, or your first day of school ... so, what could I share with you. But as I flipped through the pages of my journals, and the pages in my mind, I realized you may have only been part of my life for four years, but you’ve been a very big part of my life those four years and I’ve stored up many memories of you. Moments we’ve shared that hold a special place in my heart...

I got called into duty very early on in the relationship with your dad. Do you remember when I took you and your brothers to the 66er’s game while your Dad was painting that house (which you and I both agree took way too long). We had free general admission tickets. We sat on the blanket, watching the game, watching the people ... then a foul ball was hit our way. A thousand kids were tracking it...it bounced on the ground and up onto the awning just above where we were sitting, rolled off the awning and right into your hands! How we kept from being trampled by all the others trying to catch the ball, I don’t know - but you were so excited you ended up with it, and couldn’t wait to tell your Dad. I had a great time hanging out with you that night.

Then there was the time when there weren’t enough parents to go around. Your Dad was with Aaron at one football game, your Mom and Matthew were at another game somewhere else, and you had freshman basketball practice - so I took you. Since then, I’ve spent many hours in a gym watching you play basketball, and after four years I’m beginning to understand the game. But whether or not I know all the rules of the game, I have admired both your enthusiasm for the game and your intenseness as a competitor... and, of course, along with everyone else I love cheering for you whenever you make a basket or block a shot ...

I remember a day, when we all lived in The Highlands apartment complex, when you showed up at my door with a package of spaghetti noodles and a jar of spaghetti sauce asking if I could teach you to cook...now, that’s funny for several reasons. That cooking ‘lesson’ ended up with me fixing dinner and you instant messaging your friends on the computer... And, speaking of cooking, who can forget the Thanksgiving we cooked at home. We were all so thankful for the turkey dinner on Thanksgiving day...and just as thankful it was all gone on Sunday! We still laugh about that one...
The best memory of all was when your Dad and I got married last year. Yours and your brothers’ support of our marriage has made the transition into a blended family much smoother than I thought it would. And I smile every time a conversation begins with...."Do you remember when?...". it’s those common experiences and shared memories that have helped mold the five of us into a family and gives all of us a sense of belonging.

Beyond the memories of fun times and experiences we have shared, I have also enjoyed ‘watching’ you grow as a person. I have seen you handle difficult situations with grace and dignity. I’ve seen you cope with the unfairness in life - continuing to do your best even when the odds seemed to be against you...and I’ve seen you turn to God in times of stress - not as a last resort, but as the only One you knew could, and would, see you through the challenges you were facing...

As I proudly watched you graduate a couple of weeks ago, I noticed the inscription at the top of the stage at the Bowl..."Without vison, people perish." And it occurred to me that is what your Dad and I have been talking with you about a lot recently at the dinner table ~ to have a vision, a goal and just as importantly, have a plan on how to achieve your vision or goal, because without a plan to go somewhere, you will automatically end up nowhere.

This is the first time for your Dad, but I’ve been in this spot before, and I know one of the most difficult things to do in life as a parent is to let your children go. We spend our lives trying to prepare you to grow up and be independent and then when you are, we’re like wait, we’re not ready yet! We are afraid we haven’t prepared you enough, or equipped you with everything you need to make the right decisions, to survive, to achieve. In reality, it’s not that we haven’t prepared you, it’s because we want to protect you. It’s much easier if we can still make the decisions for you - because then we can keep you from making the same mistakes we did, we want to protect you from the big, bad world... but, we can’t do that of course, because now is your time...and we have to trust that what we have done is enough.

I know you have set a couple of goals - to play college basketball, and to become a lawyer - so while you are on the journey to achieve them ~ remember this, you have parents, and grandparents, and a step-mom who love you very much and you just go for it, girl!