Thanksgiving, 2007

It was our year to have the kids on Thanksgiving Day. Like many kids in this genteration, they are all about entertainment, - sitting around the dinner table at home, talking, and/or playing games with the family afterwards isn't really their scene. They have to go somewhere... so, we made the decision to take advantage of "Veterans get in free" at Knott's Berry Farm. Ron and I got free admission, then it was only $12.99 for each kid - for a day at the theme park, that's a great deal. Of course that didn't inlcude the price of lunch - but that's another story. (We would have spent that much on food at the grocery store anyway).

Initially, I was fine with the plan. But then Wednesday night we watched this TV show on the history of Thanksgiving - about the whole family thing, taking time out of busy schedules to reflect on the blessings we have ... and I started feeling guilty that we weren't having a 'traditional' Thanksgiving. But as my daughter-in-law pointed out when I talked to her, I shouldn't feel guilty about not having a Thanksgiving they don't want anyway.

We enjoyed lunch at Marie Callender's and the afternoon at Knott's was fun. The kids took off to ride the roller coasters and other thrill rides...Ron and I walked through shops, and stuck to the rides rated 1 or 2 on the thrill meter. You know, the Merry-Go-Round, the Stage Coach, the Train, Bumper Cars ... I enjoyed the time with him without the distraction of work, TV, or the computer, he enjoyed just hanging out with the family, and the kids enjoyed doing their thrill-a-minute thing... In reality, we have 'thanksgiving' every night. We have dinner together around the table, we hold hands while someone gives thanks for the food, and we talk about the good things that happened in our day. So, maybe it wasn't a 'traditional' thanksgiving - but maybe the memories we create around the dinner table every night, will mean more in the end - than trying to do it all just once a year. And in the big picture, I guess that's what's really important - family and memories, and tradition.

Did You Notice?...

Last Sunday during our church assembly, Jeff, our youth minister, gave a couple of testimonies pertinent to our theme of the day - which happened to be "When Jesus Comes Into Your Life." One of the testimonies (or commentary) Jeff gave was in response to the question, 'How would Jesus react to strangers?' The gospels are filled with how Jesus would (and did) react to strangers, those who were sick, hurting, mourning, outcasts of society, sinners ... you know - people like us. How did Jesus react? He simply noticed...Anyway, Jeff related a story about he and his wife going to the local theater, already 'made up' for a Halloween party later in the evening. All painted up in their best zombie style - they were amazed at how little reaction they received from the other people at the theater - people all around, standing in the same ticket line, the same line to get popcorn, and a 'zombie' in line with them went unnoticed. We all chuckled at how 'odd' that seemed, at the same time realizing we've been there. Either as the 'unnoticed' person or the person 'not noticing.' It was food for thought... then after church Ron, the kids, and I went out to lunch. At the end of our meal, while the waitress was clearing our dirty dishes, Ron followed his normal habit of starting up a conversation. Not just the usual, Hi, how ya doin?... but 'Are you in school?".... "Where?"..."Do you play sports?" ... "Have you ever been to (fill in the blank)." While my stepdaughter, Sarah, and I were beginning to feel uncomfortable about his 'nosey-ness,' it dawned on me ... He notices! He always notices - especially the un-noticeable. And, I was no longer embarassed by his nosey-ness - I was embarassed by my lack of nosey-ness. (Although I do have to admit since I've been dating and now married to Ron, my interest/awareness level in others around me has gone way up. It's a new habit...). Who knows how many times Ron has been the only one to notice someone, or to ask the person cleaning up something about themselves. My heart grew even more in love with him that day. Sure, you can tell some people are uncomfortable - but at the same time, they are happy to be noticed, to no longer be 'invisible' ... I think that's what Jesus did, too. He noticed...

California Burning...so I made a list

Another October, and California is burning again. As I watched the fire burning in Malibu and Pepperdine University last Sunday as this week of firestorms began, my mind automatically went back to 1993, when my son, Michael, was attending Pepperdine and the hills were on fire, and the students were keeping vigil at the Firestone Fieldhouse. That year, some students left...some stayed. Michael was one of the ones who stayed, and even designed the T-shirt, which proclaimed "I survived the Fire!" Then, 4 years ago, in October 2003 ... fire raged again, day after day, the fire devoured more and more houses, trees, acres of grass. Smoke filled the air and ash fell from the sky and covered everything. Now, here we are again...

The fire in 2003 actually came closer to home than this one, but now I live closer to a mountain, which could one day be on fire. And so as I was watching TV and seeing people being evacuated from their homes, I started thinking...how quickly you can condense your 'life' down to just what you can carry in your arms or pack into your car. (How weird - another blog about 'stuff.' I think it's my third one this year.) Anyway, I took pictures of every room in our house and I started making a list, in order of importance, of what I (we) would take in the event of having to evacuate. Alot of it comes down to the time available. Do you have 5 minutes or 5 hours? My list began with:

1. Medications
2. Important Papers/Cash
3. PICTURES and SCRAPBOOKS (most of you who know me are probably surprised that's not number 1, it did come before clothes - so, I had to think about it!)
4. Clothes
5. ? whatever else I had room for and time to get.

When you start making a list like that, you realize (again) how insignificant the trappings of this life really is. Don't get me wrong, I still love stuff ... and especially my stuff. I looked around my home as I took the pictures, and made the list - so many things I have a personal attachment to - antiques which belonged to my grandparents, and quilts my grandma made being at the top of that list. And I thought to myself, I can't imagine how hard it is for these people to leave behind everything, not knowing whether any thing will be left when you return. But knowing your family is together and safe is what really matters. I guess when they knock on your door and tell you it's time to leave - you just go...

For a week now, we've been looking at the world through an orange haze, as though we have on 'orange-colored' glasses. The air is so filled with smoke, you can't be outside. I've taken the pictures and made the list, but I pray I'll never have to leave my home because a fire is threatening...(By the way, my stepsons' list were different than mine. Theirs began with: number 1, Skateboard...)

Evidence of a Life: One's Man's Trash...One Man's Treasure

Last Monday, 10/15, I embarked on a new adventure ... accompanying my new husband to a 'Storage Unit Auction.' You know those U-store-it units which are just about a dime a dozen these days, where people store their stuff? Well, frequently the people don't pay the rent on their storage unit, and eventually the contents go up for public auction. Ron purchases one or two units a year, and then sells the 'treasures' at consignment stores, on ebay, at the swap meet, etc.
It was quite an experience for me, and definitely way outside my comfort zone! But there were some interesting people there. One lady was 'buying back' her granddaughter's unit so they could get the boxes of family photographs...another couple have a used furniture store and are always looking for furniture bargains...another guy (and his wife) make the rounds at the swap meets each week... most of them knew each other, they were regulars.
This was a 'silent' auction. Everyone was given a number (we were #10) and a pad of bidding slips to write your bid. The good thing is you don't necessarily feel the pressure to increase your bid, when someone outbids you, like you would at a regular auction. On the other hand, because you don't know what the others are bidding, you wonder...am I bidding too little or too much? (For instance, the woman who was retrieving her family photos - bid all of the cash she had, $242. We purchased a unit for $6 and another person won with a $1 bid! When she found out she didn't have to wager everything she had, she was disappointed - but at the same time she wanted the best shot possible at winning the bid. It's a risk...) Anyway, you walk around the storage facility, the managers open the door for a few minutes for you to look in ... you're not allowed to go inside, or move anything to see what's behind stuff. You can use a flashlight to see into the dark, but that's part of the fun and mystery I guess. It's like a 'grab bag.' Some units are stuffed to the rafters...others have just a box or two... So, Ron bids $5 on a unit no one else placed a bid on. (I was confused on which unit he purchased and at first thought it was one overflowing with literally junk...he couldn't figure out why I was so upset. But then when we went to get the stuff out of the unit, it was a different one - one that had some nice stuff in it. I apologized...he was gracious...)
But as we're loading up our new 'treasures,' I couldn't help but wonder... were the items really someone's treasures, or were they already considered trash by their previous owners, just bits and pieces of a life no longer lived? There were photo albums filled with pictures, there was a professional portrait of a family, there was a Christmas tree and lots of Christmas decorations, there was a big box of Halloween decorations... They collected anything with lighthouses, there was an assortment of kids backpacks ... even a Bible - and I thought you can tell alot about someone by their 'stuff.' Which got me to thinking again... I love 'stuff.' What does my stuff reveal about me? Does it really portray what's most important in my life, or just that I 'collect' this or that... Going through this stranger's items, I wondered where are they now? Did the family break up through divorce, a death, why are the pictures in a storage unit? Was it just supposed to be a temporary holding place... Lots of questions... and not many answers. But it was a great object lesson. I don't want to just leave behind a bunch of 'stuff.' I want to leave behind memories that will linger long after the stuff is gone. I want to know my life made a difference in someone's life. I want to know my life mattered. I've been given a second chance to do just that - make a difference in people's lives. Besides my children and grandchildren, I have another family, too. A new husband and three stepkids - all of whom I love very much. It's challenging and I pray I'm up to the task... The whole adventure has certainly given me lots to think about and consider... and all because he made a $5.00 bid...

100 Days on the Other Side...

It's been a long time since I blogged, but then there's been a lot going on with moving, getting married, yadda, yadda - but since I blogged 100 days before getting married, I thought it would be appropriate to blog 100 days after getting married. Whew! it's been an adventure for sure. First of all, my wedding day was everything I dreamed it would be. I finally had the wedding I always wanted. It was beautiful...I was so happy...so relaxed...I had just a great time. It truly was one of the best days of my life.


So, how is my new life going? In many ways much better than I anticipated. Looking back over the blog entries prior to getting married, reading my concerns, but also remembering the 30 days of prayer (which has continued) for our life - I wonder why I'm amazed that God answered those prayers! Has it been easy? No!... but it hasn't been hard either. The kids have embraced the idea of routine, and order, and a schedule much better than I anticipated. There has been so much improvement in that area. I think they genuinely like knowing we're having dinner together around the dining room table each night. I love being married ... I love knowing there are going to be people at home, and I won't be alone every night. I enjoy running to the front door to greet my husband with a big hug and kiss when he comes home from work. I love hearing the kids tell me all about their day while we're driving home, or fixing dinner.


I'm tired though! Although even that is getting better. Most days I no longer feel as if I'm just going to fall over from exhaustion, but it requires a lot of mental, emotional, as well as physical energy to be a stepmom to these kids. But I love them, and it's really going very well. I praise God for his faithfulness in hearing and answering our prayers... I love that Ron and I pray every night together before going to bed... and I thank all of the many friends and family who have been, and still are in prayer for us and our family. I'm also glad I blogged some of those fears and concerns and can now look back and see the answers which have come our way. Thank you, God...you are so good.

If...

If the three words we most want to hear are I Love You, the three most dreaded words to hear have got to be what's for dinner? ... At least for me, cooking is not really my thing - it stresses me out actually and now, I've got my 3 soon-to-be-stepchildren/teenagers to cook dinner for. The first night, we ended up with Spaghetti with sauce from a jar (no meat) and salad. It actually was good. The next night, Ron (their dad) 'cooked' - he cheated though. He bought a complete chicken dinner from Stater Bros. Hey, I can cook like that! Last night was the first time we tried to use the very old oven in our new house, and I cooked meatloaf. Once it came on, the oven worked fine and the meatloaf was pretty good. (In my opinion, meatloaf is tricky cuz there are about a dozen ways to fix it and everyone has their favorite.) Anyway, Ron and I enjoyed a nice quiet meal together, cuz the kids were late coming home from their mom's (another story.) But then, just as we're cleaning off the table - here they all come. And, remember my 'cold water in your face' blog a few months ago - those first 5 minutes when everyone comes together? Yep, that's what it was like ... Aaron didn't want meatloaf (he doesn't like anything)...Sarah had an attitude (whatever!)...Matthew was cute though. He said, I'll have meatloaf. And don't worry about Aaron, he's just having a moment. You'll get used to it. My mom is used to it. It did help...still it's a little unnerving, you know. It all worked out, the meatloaf was finished off as well as the left over chicken from the night before. For our 3rd night, it was OK -and everyone was settled down by bedtime... and we actually got a few things done around the house. (we've all just moved). We'll survive... hopefully we will survive with few, or no, casualties!

R.S.V.P. ~ they're saying yes!

The wedding invitations were mailed last Thursday, and by the weekend we had already received RSVP's back! I was amazed...delighted...stressed! Now, that people are coming I've got to get everything finished. It's funny, I know. Though I hate deadlines, and do my best to avoid having them, I also work better with them. More RSVP's came yesterday and today. I've done more packing... and cleaning out. I've reserved the moving truck. I've talked to half of the utilities about transferring service. I've tied tags onto bottles of bubbles. I've started decorating scrapbook pages to frame and display. So, you can see I've been busy - plus I have a job! Wow, I'm really getting married...