I (still) choose you...

Yesterday, July 1, was my 2nd wedding anniversary (or 14th, if you're counting in doggie years - which we are because I want a 50th wedding anniversary! I'll still shoot for a 'real time' 50th, but I would be 104 ... so, you can see why we're counting in doggie years). Anyway, after a nice dinner out, exchanging cards and gifts, we read our wedding vows ... I think they actually meant more this time than two years ago at our wedding. Who really pays attention to what you're saying (and promising) during your wedding - you're too caught up in the moment, and everything that's going on, and everything that's coming ...

Part of our vows read:

You are vowing today to love each other for as long as you both live. This
love is more than a feeling, it is a decision. One of your playful sayings when
the other one does something in a different way than you would, is ... “I love
you anyway.” And that’s exactly it - when Ron has a bad day at work, and comes
home tired and grumpy, Deiga will love him anyway. When Deiga is stressed and
maybe not as perky as usual, Ron will love her anyway...It’s a commitment and
loyalty to each other that goes way beyond the warm, fuzzy feelings we call
love. This kind of love is beautifully described in 1 Corinthians 13 ... The
Message version reads this way:


Love never gives up. Love cares more
for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't
strut, Doesn't have a swelled head, Doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always
"me first," Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of
others, Doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of
truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best,
Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.

I think we both realized we haven't always done what we promised we would... and I know I made a commitment to myself that I would be more aware of living up to our vows on a daily basis. I, Deiga, choose you Ron to be my husband...

One Sentence Journal...

Like I need something else to do. Browsing my favorite blogs today, I found a link to "The Happiness Project." Well, you've got to check that, right? So, I did. I didn't have time to read the whole story about the project, but one 'happiness tool' caught my eye - the one sentence journal. I had already been thinking about changing my journaling habits, to be less venting and more capturing thoughts. Whatever is making me happy, or aware at that moment, on that day. I know I've already written a paragraph, but here's my one sentence journal entry today.

This morning before going to work, I gave Bon Jovi (the dog) a bath. Afterwards, he's just all frisky - running all over the place like a crazy dog. (Ok, that's 2 sentences, but it's OK)

Today...June 22,2009

Outside my window...city crews trimming trees.

I am thinking...about how to schedule my afternoon errands, and wishing I didn't have to do them.

I am thankful for... summer days I can spend at home, scrapbooking, reading, relaxing....

From the kitchen...brownies are baking in the oven, and they smell so good.

I am wearing...white jean shorts, navy blue sleeveless top and sandals.

I am creating...layouts for my in-law's 50th anniversary party in 2008.

Reflection...

Wow, I haven't posted to my blog in a long time. Too busy on facebook I guess! Anyway, this is a 'dear Eric' post I guess. When Eric was around 2 years old, I babysat him on Fridays. I brought him to work with me, he would play in the office most of the time. But around mid-morning we would go out to the grassy hill area and he would run around, sometimes play with his wagon, or whatever we brought that day - just a few minutes to get fresh air, get the wiggles out, etc. We would almost always walk up to the fence around the church property to see if there was any water in the drainage canal - usually there was, and even though it's a flood control canal in the middle of the city - there's still something peaceful and mesmerizing about flowing water...


That was 8 years ago. Now days, I still take a mid-morning break, only this time it's with Bon Jovi, my dog. We don't usually walk up the hill, but today I did ... and instantly, in a flash, I was standing there with two-year old Eric, hearing him say, "Look at the water, ma-Deiga." And I have to admit tears filled my eyes, and I could hardly bear the memory. I still have a plastic cell phone in my desk drawer that he played with back then, too ... and each time I open my desk drawer, the memories return. They never actually leave. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about Rick, and Eric, and Garrett ... and the time that is being lost. Time we'll never get back ... I know so little about them now, and they don't remember too much about me either by now, I guess.


But I remembered today...

Comfort Food...

Last night we had pork chops for dinner - one of the guys' favorite comfort foods. While I was frying the pork chops in a cast iron skillet, a 'gang' of au gratin potatoes were baking in the oven, and green beans were simmering on the stove top. Aaron came home about that time. When he walked in, he said "It smells awesome in here! What's for dinner, Deiga?" "Pork Chops," I said. "With a 'gang' of those great potatoes like last time." "Yep," I answered. "Awesome," was the reply. A few minutes later, Ron walked in the door..."Chicken or pork chops?" "Pork Chops." "Smells good!" But the highest compliment came while we were eating when Aaron said, "These pork chops are as good as grandma's!" Oh, my that's quite a compliment...and I knew, at least for today, I was queen of the kitchen! Pretty good for someone who still doesn't really like to cook, but is learning what pleases these guys. Plus, my hubby thinks I look sexy in my apron! You gotta love that one...

Happy Meeting Day!

Five years ago today, I met Ron Bennett (aka Spa Man), at the jacuzzi/spa in the apartment complex where we were both living at the time. I certainly hadn't gone looking for love that night, I was really seeking relief from a sore back. Ironically, earlier that day, I had discovered love letters from my ex-husband, written just a few years before he left - and love was the last thing on my mind. But that night in the Spa ... God rushed in and brought us together.

Funny, in the 8 months I had lived in the complex I had never seen Ron before - even though he had been in a wheelchair and then on crutches just a few months earlier following surgery for a ruptured achilles. Then as things go, after that first meeting I saw him everywhere! A few months later we had our first date and three years after that we got married. Soon we'll celebrate our second wedding anniversary ... how quickly time passes, and life changes... I'm no longer lonely, no longer bored, and happier than I have been in many, many years. Happy Meeting Day, Spa-Man! I love you with all of my heart...

Something to think about...

I discovered this 'anonymous' poem today... it made me think. A Builder or a Wrecker - which will I be?

Builders

I saw them tearing a building down, A gang of men in a busy town.

With a yo heave ho and a lusty yell, They swung a beam and the sidewall fell.

I asked the foreman if these men were As skilled as those he would hire if he were to build.

He laughed and said, "Oh, no indeed, Common labor is all I need.

For they can wreck in a day or two, What builders have taken years to do."

So I asked myself, as I went my way, Which of these roles am I to play?

Am I the builder, who works with care, Measuring life by the rule and square;

Or am I the wrecker who walks the town, Content in the role of tearing down?